Doing a little housekeeping at work and found this gem hiding in my inbox:

On December 31 I went down to the parkade in the hospital to find that some unknown individuals had decorated my car with a ‘happy retirement’ balloon and a sign that said ‘gone paddling’. While I’m sure the sentiment was all in good fun, the damage to the paint job on my car will be difficult to repair. My 2 suggestions in the future are:

1—-if you MUST decorate someone’s car—confine your efforts to the windows where you can’t do any real damage
2—-Make sure you decorate the RIGHT CAR! I’m not sure whose car you intended to vandalize, but I’m pretty sure they’re glad not to be the one still peeling tape (and hopefully not too much more paint) off of their car.

I know this e-mail is being sent to a whole bunch of people who weren’t responsible, and I apologize for wasting your time with this complaint, but I have no other way of contacting the people who were responsible.

Thank you for your time.
BH